What if everyone was named after where they were born?

“I don’t get paid enough for this.”

Imagine giving birth and popping a few McNuggets all at the same time in the same place…

To start, I will definitely say that I don’t intend on having any kids in the future. However, if I had a wife who was pregnant, I would hope that we’d pick a hospital for her to fire out the little ankle biter instead of literally anywhere else.

And then I read this story coming out of Atlanta where a woman delivered a baby at a McDonalds. She and her husband were out and about, just getting some errands done. She asked him to stop at the local McD’s so she could use the bathroom because she wasn’t feeling very well.

She walked into the bathroom, sat down, and BOOM, her water broke immediately.

I typed “water broke” into our stock photo database and this is what popped up. So please enjoy this photo of an actual broken water pipe in lieu of what I was looking for.

She started screaming.

Which must have been fun for the staff who were on shift that day.

Imagine running into the bathroom and seeing a pregnant lady on the floor in pain. Yeah, I’m taking a lieu day after that.

Fortunately, the whole crew came together like a Formula 1 pit crew and they delivered that baby flawlessly. 15 minutes of labor. Fast food indeed.

And after all that mayhem, they first decided on naming the baby Nugget to honor the location where the kid was born.

“Alright class, raise your hand if you plan on bullying this child named after separated and processed chicken corpses.”

Fortunately, reason prevailed and they decided NOT to name the baby Nugget. Can you imagine that? Imagine if everyone was named after the place they were born.

You’d have a lot of people named Hospital…

Maybe you got a hippy dippy friend named Bath Tub…

And then you just stay away from that weird guy at work named Forest.

Thanks for reading, love you lots, and as always,

– Erik